How to break the cycle?

I am so thoroughly fed up of having clinical depression as it just seems a constant battle I can’t win!

I’ve spent over 20 years learning triggers to try and prevent bouts of depression from occurring. I’ve learnt which foods make my depression worse and I’ve removed some of my favourite foods from my life to help my mental health. I’ve said bye to any foods with red, yellow or orange colourants, to foods with MSG added and to foods with high sugar content (whether natural or added). I drink plenty of water and have an alcoholic drink about 4 times a year. I try to keep to a routine with sleep and try to leave the house at least once a day, preferably walking the dog, as I know I shouldn’t be allow with my thoughts for too long.  Continue reading “How to break the cycle?”


Change is happening :-)

Time and again a theme has raised its head during my years since I was diagnosed with clinical depression and that theme is how my weight affects my self-esteem and my clinical depression.

For far too long I have refused to address this issue and have always put myself in the role of the happy, fat friend. Part of refusing to address the issue has been me given a rude gesture to my mother but the time has come to end that for my sake. Continue reading “Change is happening :-)”

A weekend of sewing

So on the day we said goodbye to our darling Paddy, I also involved in a car collision due to a small light car with basic all-wheel drive and a huge patch of snow & ice. We walked away with bruising and I didn’t think too much of it but as time went on it was quite obvious all was not well with my right shoulder (my dominant arm). Doctor’s visits & an ultrasound have confirmed I have bursitis in my right shoulder and on 22 June I will be having a steroid injection into my shoulder to hopefully cure the bursitis. I had a bursitis in my left shoulder in 2010 & a steroid injection sorted that so I’m hopefully it will be another success.

Anyway due to the bursitis, I have been living with an increasing amount of pain since the car collision and it has limited my crafts & negatively affected my depression as I have been having disturbed sleep due to the pain. I have been prescribed anti-inflammatory painkillers but I try to only take them at night to help me sleep.  Continue reading “A weekend of sewing”

Fighting another battle with my mind

Sorry I’ve been not posted much since the end of March but I’ve been struggling quite badly with my moods due to my depression and anxiety.

I really haven’t been dealing with anything in my life since saying goodbye to Paddy in December and all my techniques I have put in place to help me stablise my moods has gone out of the window for one reason or another.

Every time I think I’ve beaten a low mood and I’m getting back into a good place, life throws something at me and reminds me that emotionally and mentally I’m still a fragile mess. Continue reading “Fighting another battle with my mind”

RIP Percy

Thursday 3 May 2018 was shaping up to be an OK day. During the previous few days, a few things had clicked for me in how to improve my future health (both physically and mentally) and that morning I’d done a 2.7 mile (4.35km) walk with Baldrick. I had spent an hour in the kitchen preparing a honeyed beef & date dish to cook in the slower cooker (sadly it wasn’t as good I’d hoped) and upon entering my living room, my mobile phone was ringing.  Continue reading “RIP Percy”

On the up?

The start to 2018 has found me really struggling with my depression and anxiety and I have struggled to keep my mood stable; however, I think my struggles could be about to get a little easier.

Over the years of living with both depression and anxiety, I have gain a little understanding into when I am heading into a depressive episode and when I’m possibly leaving one as I have behaviours which happen and I call them my mile markers. Continue reading “On the up?”

Decluttering Challenge 2018 – Days 26 – 32 (Final Day)

I’m really feeling slightly negative about this year’s decluttering challenge and I think it’s due to settling my expectations too high.

My home was really disorganised and cluttered when I did the challenge during Lent 2017 and I was totally motivated each day to tackle the house. Each day that passed helped me become more motivated for the next day and I could really notice a change in my mood and mental health as I tackled the clutter. At the end of the challenge on Easter Sunday I felt like a huge weight had been lifted because the house was sorted and clean and I had less stuff in my life. Even though I didn’t do any specific emotional decluttering, I did feel a lot calmer and my mood was more stable.

However, this year’s challenge feels like a total struggle and I’m struggling to get motivated. Continue reading “Decluttering Challenge 2018 – Days 26 – 32 (Final Day)”